Feature Story
Story of the month...Deutsche Telekom and all that guff
Okay, most of you may know that Deutsche Telekom recently got privatised, and in theory lost their monopoly. For the first time ever, they now have to face competition from other companies, and have as a result been forced to cut the costs of calls dramatically. This they have done, except...
- They still managed to make a 20 % INCREASE in profits over the last year. Obviously taking profit margins as low as they go, huh?
- They still have a legal right to be the only telephone company to actually supply the socket you stick your phone into in your home. Of course, this means that they still have their monopoly, since a small part of every call charge goes to them, whoever you phone with. Better still, you still have to pay them for the privilege of even having a telephone, even if all your calls are made through another service.
- Their service still stinks - I recently applied for a special tarif that lets me buy units in advance (limited to 5 numbers, of course) at a discount. Not only did they twice get the number wrong, they tried to bill me for changing the number.
- Ironically, the number is one of their own, being for the T-Online ISP. Worse than that, they still don't have the number right...after 3 months.
- Their current advertising campaigns include the caption "Ganz Deutschland freut sich" (all of Germany is happy [to be with us]...not me, I'm afraid, guys). And the proud announcement that you profit automatically from changes in your mobile phone tarif. Really...like we used to have to ask them very nicely to let us have the new prices?
So, the most advanced network in the world (as they claim), or a crock of shit? Make your own mind up as to whether the following punishments would be suitable, and mail me if you have a better idea:
- Compulsory duty picking up soap in the showers of every prison in Germany, after being forced to admit to the inmates what percentage of call charges goes straight to the bank.
- Being forced to publicly admit that in fact SFA gets invested in the network - like almost every major telephone network, the infrastructure has been there for decades, and so has needed little upgrading. Otherwise, how come installation of my ISDN lines just needed me to plug a box into the existing socket, then my phone and PC into the box?
- Being forced to eat a kilo of figs (per person), then being put on a 15 hour flight to the middle of nowhere...except the flush doesn't work on the aircraft toilet, and it's a rough flight.
- The above to apply to anyone time-wasting on the Executive Board, or who for whatever reason, believes the shit they spout.
Material Copyright © 1999 by Trubert